Security vs Freedom

From the moment we are born, we straddle two sets of contradicting needs: the need for security and the need for freedom. When we find the balance, our lives open up to new possibilities, relationships, and ways of life.

“Security or freedom. The fact is we need both.”

Articles on

Security vs Freedom

July 6, 2022

Letters from Esther: The Last Time I Felt Free…

We feel free when we can surrender into ourselves, into an experience, into each other. But the ways we attain that feeling differ so much based on our circumstances.

January 25, 2022

The Other 3 Little Words: I Love You, But—What Are We?

Whether we’re happy to keep the status quo (separate lives connected by mutual affection) or desire a more entwined commitment, discussing “what are we” is an important part of creating a shared reality with healthy boundaries and expectations. ‍

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Podcasts on

Security vs Freedom

You Keep Planning A Future Without Me

They met as community organizers in their neighborhood. She had just gotten out of a multi-year marriage to her ex-wife and began to forge new friendships. After about a year, something shifted for her and she began to develop feelings for him, sending her seemingly solid identity into a tailspin. After 15 years of identifying as a lesbian, she was in her first straight relationship. Now, he is beginning to question what he wants out of life and their relationship and can’t seem to grow out of his youth-formed habits of yearning for greener pastures. They find themselves at an erotic stalemate and come to Esther for help.

You Want Me To Watch The Kids While You Go Out With Another Guy?

They met as religious teenagers and married as virgins. It’s the age old story -- once you’re allowed to be intimate, you no longer want to be. Deciding to open the marriage has brought about huge changes in their sex life, and ruptures in their emotional one. Esther guides them towards a new conversation without labels.

The Chronic Philanderer

He's been stepping out on the marriage for years. She had enough. And finally wants to know is he in or out?

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Communication & Connection

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Courses

Turning Conflict Into Connection

Uncover why you keep having the same fights over and over again. Learn how to break free from habitual patterns and responses. Find peace and reconciliation even when you disagree.

Gain new insights in just one hour

Downloadable workbook filled with guided exercises

Improve conflicts with or without a partner

Playing with Desire

Uncover and learn how to speak about your desires. Bring more aliveness into your sex life. Create rich, erotic rituals. Cultivate a more vibrant and fulfilling erotic relationship.

Perfect for date night

Playful exercises and prompts to tap into new erotic possibilities

Based on the same processes Esther has used to help real couples for 40+ years

Bringing Desire Back

Uncover what blocks desire. Learn how to tap back into pleasure and get unstuck. Discover a new sense of hope and possibility.

Perfect for date night

Guided exercises to turn insights into action and understanding

Based on the same processes Esther has used to help real couples for 40+ years

The Desire Bundle

Two courses designed to help you and your partner break out of sexual ruts, explore new possibilities, and build deeper connection.

Understand, communicate, and explore your sexual needs

Spark honest and constructive conversations about sex and desire

Designed to reignite curiosity, intimacy, and deeper connection in your sex life