In the twenty years since Mating in Captivity was published in 2006, it has become a global phenomenon, as has its author, Esther Perel. As a psychotherapist and thoughtleader, Perel is widely considered one of the world’s most original and respected voices on erotic intelligence.
Drawing on decades of clinical experience, Mating in Captivity examines the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit for freedom and passion. It illuminates the complexities of sustaining desire in long-term relationships and shows how more playful, adventurous, and even poetic sex is possible. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is practical, Perel’s bold and provocative take on intimacy is ever more relevant today, asking:
Why does great sex so often fade for couples who claim to love each other as much as ever?
Why doesn’t good intimacy guarantee good sex?Can we want what we already have?
Why does the transition to parenthood so often spell erotic disaster?
In a new preface, Perel reveals the personal origin story behind the book and reflects upon the many cultural shifts since its publication. This twentieth-anniversary edition invites us to reconsider the timeless paradoxical union of domesticity and desire—and offers a guide to bringing lust home.
An affair can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience—universally forbidden yet universally practiced—is poorly understood. Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? For a decade, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with cheating. In this illuminating book, she weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis to provide insights and answers to help couples survive and thrive.
Betrayal hurts, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. Affairs, Perel argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern relationships in its many variations.


