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Letters From Esther #39: Thanksgiving & Belonging

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Thanksgiving and Belonging.

Sexless Relationship? Take the First Step Toward Reconnection.

From physical challenges to breaches of trust to parenting exhaustion and beyond, there are so many reasons couples fall into a sexless relationship. Read more on how to shift your focus and take the first step toward intimate reconnection. A hint: it has nothing to do with frequency.

Letters From Esther #38: How I Learned to do What I do

Letters From Esther #37: Eroticism is an Art. But It’s Also a Practice.

How to Introduce Role Play Ideas To Your Partner

Role play and fantasy are playful opportunities to break routines and enhance excitement and pleasure in the bedroom. We all have imaginative resources that allow us to play and be curious and to ask ourselves: what would it look and feel like to be intimate together in a different way? Read more on simple steps to help you introduce role play ideas to your partner.

Letters From Esther #36: Fighting with your Partner about Values?

Finding Freedom in What Feels Good: 3 Reasons to Embrace Foreplay

Contrary to popular assumptions, foreplay is so much more than just the physical suggestion that kick-starts sex. Let’s adjust the lens. Read more on three reasons to embrace foreplay as the freedom to experience what feels good, for no other goal than pure pleasure—from a quick warmup to lasting erotic energy.

Letters from Esther #35: The Last Time I Felt Free…

Letters from Esther #1 - Connection

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for our relational intelligence. This month's theme is Connection.

Letters from Esther #2 - Security and Freedom

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for our relational intelligence. This month's theme is Security and Freedom.

Letters from Esther #3 - Helping is Making Me Feel Helpless

Letters from Esther #4 - Relationship Dynamics in the Workplace

My monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for your relational intelligence. In celebration of the release of my new podcast, How’s Work, this month's theme is: Relationship Dynamics in the Workplace

Letters from Esther #5 - Trauma, Poetry, and Elephants in South Africa

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for your relational intelligence. This month's theme is: Trauma, Poetry, and Elephants in South Africa.

Letters from Esther #6 - Promises and Resolutions

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for our relational intelligence. In celebration of the new year, this month's theme is: Promises and Resolutions.

Letters from Esther #7: The Art of Conversation

Sexless Relationship? Take the First Step Toward Reconnection.

How to Introduce Role Play Ideas To Your Partner

Finding Freedom in What Feels Good: 3 Reasons to Embrace Foreplay

How to Write Wedding Vows That Set Your Marriage Up For Success

Vows that set a marriage up for success trade promises to do it all for intentions to do our best—especially in the hard times. Anyone who’s been married can tell you that, for all of the joy and love, there’s just as many fights and betrayals. The question is: how will we repair and grow stronger each time? Vows are an opportunity to address this very question. And, when done well, vows can be a compass to return to every time we lose our way. Read more on how to trade promises for intentions and a beautiful writing exercise for wedding vow drafts or as an ongoing activity do to throughout your marriage.

The Myth of Unconditional Love in Romantic Relationships

“Relational Ambivalence” is the experience of contradictory thoughts and feelings—of love and hate, attraction and disgust, excitement and fear, contempt and envy—toward someone with whom we are in a relationship. It exists in every relational configuration, but we put a lot of pressure on romantic love, in particular, to rise above it. Read more on how ambivalence shows up in your romantic relationships and the common responses to it.

Our Comfort with Intimacy Has A Lot to do with These 7 Verbs

Love is an active verb. It’s imbued with intention and meaning and contains an implicit call to action. In the language of intimacy, basic fluency comes down to just seven verbs. The experiences that revolve around these shape our beliefs about ourselves and our expectations of others. Read more on the seven verbs of intimacy and how they help us to understand not just how we learned to love and be loved—but how we want to now.

In Long-Term Relationships, When Do You Find Yourself Most Drawn to Your Partner?

Reconciling the domestic and the erotic is a delicate balancing act in long-term relationships. It requires knowing your partner while recognizing their persistent mystery. Read more on the one simple question that reminds us to appreciate our partner’s otherness and what the four most common responses tell us.

The Other 3 Little Words: I Love You, But—What Are We?

Saying “I love you” has long been the ultimate marker of seriousness in the early months of romantic relationships. In the last few decades, however, the rise of the “situationship” has elongated the dating phase, elevating a different set of “three little words” to the pantheon of important relational dialogue. Read more on why discussing “What are we?” is an important part of creating a shared reality with healthy boundaries and expectations in a relationship.

Articles

Letters From Esther #39: Thanksgiving & Belonging

Letters From Esther #39: Thanksgiving & Belonging

Sexless Relationship? Take the First Step Toward Reconnection.

Letters From Esther #38: How I Learned to do What I do

Letters From Esther #37: Eroticism is an Art. But It’s Also a Practice.

How to Introduce Role Play Ideas To Your Partner

Letters From Esther #36: Fighting with your Partner about Values?

Finding Freedom in What Feels Good: 3 Reasons to Embrace Foreplay

Letters from Esther #35: The Last Time I Felt Free…

Letters from Esther #35: The Last Time I Felt Free…

Letters from Esther #1 - Connection

Letters from Esther #2 - Security and Freedom

Letters from Esther #3 - Helping is Making Me Feel Helpless

Letters from Esther #4 - Relationship Dynamics in the Workplace

Letters from Esther #5 - Trauma, Poetry, and Elephants in South Africa

Letters from Esther #6 - Promises and Resolutions

Letters from Esther #7: The Art of Conversation

Sexless Relationship? Take the First Step Toward Reconnection.

How to Introduce Role Play Ideas To Your Partner

Finding Freedom in What Feels Good: 3 Reasons to Embrace Foreplay

How to Write Wedding Vows That Set Your Marriage Up For Success

The Myth of Unconditional Love in Romantic Relationships

Our Comfort with Intimacy Has A Lot to do with These 7 Verbs

In Long-Term Relationships, When Do You Find Yourself Most Drawn to Your Partner?

The Other 3 Little Words: I Love You, But—What Are We?

You can also browse articles, Letters from Esther, and Podcast Episodes in our “Focus On” sections, where we group resources based on important relational topics.