Letters from Esther #67: The Work Between Us

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Shall We Begin?

Recently, I spent two days with 600 of my colleagues—therapists, coaches, healers, educators. We had gathered for Sessions Live, my annual conference, with another 2,000 joining us virtually. This is my professional world. These are my people. And like so many of you returning to in-person work, I wasn’t sure what it would feel like to be back in a shared physical space.

What struck me most wasn’t just the brilliance in the room. It was the vulnerability. The weariness. The courage to keep showing up for others even when we feel like we’re running on empty. And it wasn’t just about the work we do with clients. It was about the work we do with each other. The work between us.

That phrase—the work between us—has been on my mind a lot lately. Especially when it comes to . . . well, work.

WORKING IT OUT

We are living through a profound rupture in how we relate to work and the people with whom we work. People are burned out. Laid off. Asked to return to offices that don’t feel safe or inspiring. Others are craving reconnection but feel out of practice, unsure how to relate face-to-face again. I’ve heard from managers who feel as if they are expected to be therapists. And I’ve heard from employees who feel as if they are expected to self-actualize while hitting KPIs.

In short: it’s confusing. It’s tender. And it’s very, very human.

Underneath the performance reviews and productivity tools, what we’re really talking about are relationships.

• Do I trust you?
• Do I feel seen?
• Do I matter here?
• Will you be there when things get hard?

These questions aren’t soft. They are structural. They shape everything.

I’ve always said that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. But I also believe this: the quality of our relationships at work determines the quality of our work—and our capacity to stay, to care, to thrive.

REAL TALK

So, what helps? Sometimes it’s big new HR initiatives. Rarely is it slogans about culture. What helps are moments. Stories. Absconding for coffees or a walk around the block. Asking how your colleague would like to be supported during a difficult time. What helps are real conversations that puncture the performative and make space for the real.

At Sessions Live, I watched it happen. A long table. A circle of chairs. A question. A pause. And then, a story, from one therapist to another, united by a shared desire to grow in their chosen profession. Therapist or analyst or first responder or marketer: who we are at work is intrinsically tied to who we are in the world.

Even now—even here—we can still choose to show up. To listen. To go first. To begin again. Because despite everything, people are still trying. Still longing for something more real. And that longing? That’s where the work begins.

Let’s Turn the Lens on You

Don’t know where to start? Try one of these prompts to inspire deeper conversations with colleagues old and new.

• The feedback I wish I had heard sooner in my career . . .
• An idea/approach I would love to try . . .
• The part of my job that I’m the most proud to talk about . . .
• The last hard decision I felt surprisingly good about . . .
• My go-to emoji instead of using words . . .
• I’ll never forget my manager who . . .
• The skill I wish I got to use more . . .

More From Esther

TRANSFORM YOUR WORK CULTURE | join the waitlist

I believe that the quality of our relationships at work determines the quality of our work. That’s why I’ve created a new product designed to help business owners, managers, and team leaders elevate workplace connection and improve team dynamics.

If you’re ready to transform your work culture, join the waitlist to be the first to know when this new offer becomes available.

SESSIONS LIVE 2025: MATING IN THE METACRISIS | watch the replay

The live event may be over, but you can still be part of this transformative experience for a limited time. Register today to get on-demand access and discover:

• A complete archive of recordings
• Exclusive discounts from event partners, plus 10% off my books, courses, and card game
• Additional resources to go even deeper
  
• Unique networking opportunities

You’ll find all this and more inside the Sessions Live app—but only for a limited time. Register now to get started.

EROTIC INTELLIGENCE: CULTIVATING DESIRE AND ALIVENESS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS | learn more

On October 8–13, 2025, amidst the wonders of Paros, Greece, my expert guest facilitators and I will share fresh perspectives and actionable tools to help you go deeper into the work, expand your erotic intelligence, and experience new erotic breakthroughs—with or without a partner.

Click here to learn more and reserve your spot.

Conversation Starters

A compendium of highly recommended sources of inspiration and information

TO WATCH:

• Ada: My Mother the Architect is a portrait of the trailblazing architect Ada Louise Huxtable through the eyes of her daughter. It’s both intimate and monumental—an homage to a woman who shaped the American cityscape and the daughter who now builds her own story.

TO WEAR:

• I had the pleasure of wearing Fleur du Mal for a special dinner at Sessions Live—as did my guests who, at one point in the evening, wore Fleur du Mal’s luxurious black blindfolds. Known for designs that celebrate the erotic, the elegant, and the unapologetically bold, Fleur du Mal was the perfect partner for an evening that asked us to taste with our hands, listen with our bodies, and savor every feeling.

TO EXPERIENCE:

Sessions Live wouldn’t have been possible without the generous support of our other visionary sponsors, each bringing their own kind of magic:

• Black Therapists Rock, for grounding us in healing, representation, and community.
• Maude, for elevating modern intimacy with warmth and elegance.
  
• Foria, for their plant-powered devotion to sensual wellness.
• Dame, for reimagining pleasure with design and intention.
  
• London Nootropics, for fueling our brains and bodies.
  
• Tea & Tonic, for creating moments of radiant calm for us.
  
• Kin Euphorics, for bringing us spirited connection—no spirits required.
  
• Doladira, whose alpine apéritif brought an après-ski vibe to our special dinner.
  
• Psychotherapy Networker, for anchoring our field with insight, depth, and dialogue.

To each of you: Thank you for helping us create something that wasn’t just a gathering—but a true experience.