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Letters from Esther #49: What do you want to focus on more?

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is "Focus."

Letters from Esther #48: "Why is it so hard to take a break?"

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month, we're looking at why it's so hard to take a break.

Letters From Esther #47: “Am I being gaslit by my partner?”

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme focuses on the term "gaslighting."

Letters from Esther #46: The Power of Chosen Family

My monthly newsletter and workshop are meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme focuses on the power of chosen family.

Letters From Esther #45: The Question that Comes Up in All New Adult Friendships

The Power of Apologizing: Relearn How to Say “I’m Sorry”

A strong, meaningful apology goes a long way in repairing major and minor rifts in any relationship. Intellectually, we know this. Apologizing is one of the first relationship skills we learn as young children. But it’s a skill that needs to grow with us. Read more on the power of apologizing and relearn how to say "I'm Sorry."

Letters from Esther #44: What does repair look like in relationships?

Owning Your Part: Self-Accountability in Relationships

Relationship dynamics go beyond the binary of perpetrator and victim, powerful and powerless, betrayed and betrayer—the accountant and the accountable. Recognizing that all parties are a piece of the pie does not mean that everyone’s slice is the same size and made up of the same ingredients. But owning your part is essential to breaking through impasses. Read more about the practice of self-accountability in relationships.

Letters from Esther #35: The Last Time I Felt Free…

Letters from Esther #1 - Connection

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for our relational intelligence. This month's theme is Connection.

Letters from Esther #2 - Security and Freedom

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for our relational intelligence. This month's theme is Security and Freedom.

Letters from Esther #3 - Helping is Making Me Feel Helpless

Letters from Esther #4 - Relationship Dynamics in the Workplace

My monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for your relational intelligence. In celebration of the release of my new podcast, How’s Work, this month's theme is: Relationship Dynamics in the Workplace

Letters from Esther #5 - Trauma, Poetry, and Elephants in South Africa

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for your relational intelligence. This month's theme is: Trauma, Poetry, and Elephants in South Africa.

Letters from Esther #6 - Promises and Resolutions

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for our relational intelligence. In celebration of the new year, this month's theme is: Promises and Resolutions.

Letters from Esther #7: The Art of Conversation

How to Write Wedding Vows That Set Your Marriage Up For Success

Vows that set a marriage up for success trade promises to do it all for intentions to do our best—especially in the hard times. Anyone who’s been married can tell you that, for all of the joy and love, there’s just as many fights and betrayals. The question is: how will we repair and grow stronger each time? Vows are an opportunity to address this very question. And, when done well, vows can be a compass to return to every time we lose our way. Read more on how to trade promises for intentions and a beautiful writing exercise for wedding vow drafts or as an ongoing activity do to throughout your marriage.

The Myth of Unconditional Love in Romantic Relationships

“Relational Ambivalence” is the experience of contradictory thoughts and feelings—of love and hate, attraction and disgust, excitement and fear, contempt and envy—toward someone with whom we are in a relationship. It exists in every relational configuration, but we put a lot of pressure on romantic love, in particular, to rise above it. Read more on how ambivalence shows up in your romantic relationships and the common responses to it.

Our Comfort with Intimacy Has A Lot to do with These 7 Verbs

Love is an active verb. It’s imbued with intention and meaning and contains an implicit call to action. In the language of intimacy, basic fluency comes down to just seven verbs. The experiences that revolve around these shape our beliefs about ourselves and our expectations of others. Read more on the seven verbs of intimacy and how they help us to understand not just how we learned to love and be loved—but how we want to now.

In Long-Term Relationships, When Do You Find Yourself Most Drawn to Your Partner?

Reconciling the domestic and the erotic is a delicate balancing act in long-term relationships. It requires knowing your partner while recognizing their persistent mystery. Read more on the one simple question that reminds us to appreciate our partner’s otherness and what the four most common responses tell us.

The Other 3 Little Words: I Love You, But—What Are We?

Saying “I love you” has long been the ultimate marker of seriousness in the early months of romantic relationships. In the last few decades, however, the rise of the “situationship” has elongated the dating phase, elevating a different set of “three little words” to the pantheon of important relational dialogue. Read more on why discussing “What are we?” is an important part of creating a shared reality with healthy boundaries and expectations in a relationship.

Six Essential Practices to Improve Listening Skills in Relationships

The way we listen shapes a conversation as much as the way we speak or respond. Nothing makes us feel more deeply connected than when we are engaged in a healthy balance of thoughtful speaking and hardcore listening. Read more on my six essential practices to improve listening in your relationships and learn to strike the delicate balance of receiving and reciprocating.

Relationship Stress at a High? Try Spending Time With Friends

Our expectations of our partners have never been so high. When our primary relationship is experiencing high stress one of the best things we can do for ourselves and our partners is to take some of the pressure off. Read more on the importance of spending time with friends and how it serves as a reminder that we don’t live or love in a vacuum.

When Transitioning Between Stages of a Relationship, Practice Adaptability

Adaptability in couples is about responding to life’s changing circumstances with good communication and a lot of flexibility. Read more about why adaptability is an important element in helping couples navigate the different stages of a relationship.

Articles

Letters from Esther #49: What do you want to focus on more?

Letters from Esther #49: What do you want to focus on more?

Letters from Esther #48: "Why is it so hard to take a break?"

Letters From Esther #47: “Am I being gaslit by my partner?”

Letters from Esther #46: The Power of Chosen Family

Letters From Esther #45: The Question that Comes Up in All New Adult Friendships

The Power of Apologizing: Relearn How to Say “I’m Sorry”

Letters from Esther #44: What does repair look like in relationships?

Owning Your Part: Self-Accountability in Relationships

Letters from Esther #35: The Last Time I Felt Free…

Letters from Esther #1 - Connection

Letters from Esther #2 - Security and Freedom

Letters from Esther #3 - Helping is Making Me Feel Helpless

Letters from Esther #4 - Relationship Dynamics in the Workplace

Letters from Esther #5 - Trauma, Poetry, and Elephants in South Africa

Letters from Esther #6 - Promises and Resolutions

Letters from Esther #7: The Art of Conversation

How to Write Wedding Vows That Set Your Marriage Up For Success

The Myth of Unconditional Love in Romantic Relationships

Our Comfort with Intimacy Has A Lot to do with These 7 Verbs

In Long-Term Relationships, When Do You Find Yourself Most Drawn to Your Partner?

The Other 3 Little Words: I Love You, But—What Are We?

Six Essential Practices to Improve Listening Skills in Relationships

Relationship Stress at a High? Try Spending Time With Friends

When Transitioning Between Stages of a Relationship, Practice Adaptability

You can also browse articles, Letters from Esther, and Podcast Episodes in our “Focus On” sections, where we group resources based on important relational topics.