Unsent Love Letters - Lingering Loss

Esther Perel

The Letter

A 40-year-old woman writes to her lover for the better part of a decade. It’s been eight years since their relationship ended, and she doesn’t have anything to remember their relationship. No gifts, no way to contact him, and no photos of him or them together. Only a selfie of herself that reminds her of how she felt during that time.

A Look Inside with Esther + Meredith


This is the kind of letter that helps you accept that it’s over. It’s a letter that is written to process the obvious. The author writes about a world her former lover has entered without her. We get a sense of loss that still lingers despite the time that has passed.

Though no other physical trace of their relationship exists, a single selfie brings our author back to her former lover and the feelings they shared. It is a beautiful example of what love is - how someone can make you feel and how you feel about yourself when you’re with them. Even in a time when we are almost all one click away, this selfie is all she needs.

An Exercise in Celebrating

It is possible to let go of a relationship without forgetting or devaluing it. The mourning process includes processing loss, but it also involves celebrating what once was. One of my favorite recommendations is to hold a celebration for the relationship as an experience that is now in the past. Bring close friends together and sing your heartbreak.

Continue the series. Up next in Unsent Love Letters - Young and In Love.

Producer & Editor: Anush Elbakyan, Producer & Script: Courtney Hamilton Knight, Animation: Daniel García, Illustration & Direction: Natalia Ramos

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