You Want Me To Watch The Kids While You Go Out With Another Guy?

Click here to view this episode's transcript.


In this episode of Where Should We Begin with Esther Perel, we meet a married couple experiencing a decade of miserable sexual connection. They decide to open their marriage. On the one hand, she is energized by the deep connection to her sexuality the lifestyle provides her. The decision brings more fun, intimacy, and connection to their relationship. But, he is struggling with a need to feel special and ‘like the only one’. 
Can the two come together to change the narrative and create sexual satisfaction and marital connection for them both? 


What to listen for in this episode of Where Should We Begin with Esther Perel.

  • The female partner reveals her sexuality felt owned by her parents in India, by her church in America, and by her husband post-marriage. Does the notion of your sexuality not truly being your own resonate? To whom or what institution have you abdicated control? 
  • Esther points out the complex power dynamic around sexuality. Women are expected to be deferential and demure while simultaneously told they wield the power of seduction and corruption. How has this complexity played out in your sexual evolution?
  • The idea of feeling special to a romantic partner is addressed in the episode. Do you believe special needs to equate to exclusivity? Can there exist varying degrees of “specialness?”
  • For the female partner in the episode, freedom lies in experiencing the forbidden. Is it possible for security and freedom to coexist? Does the existence of one serve to negate the other?
  • The episode explores the different meanings we assign to touch. The same touch which once felt violating can, in turn, feel phenomenally pleasurable. Have you experienced this? What shifted your perspective?

Sharpen Your Relational Intelligence

Sign up for letters from Esther, a monthly newsletter + youtube workshop and conversation.
Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.