Since I Can't Be Myself, I Try To Be You

Click here to view this episode's transcript.

One business partner lays low. The other is a high performer. They share the same DNA but no longer share the same path.


Episode 7 of How’s Work? with Esther Perel is the tale of two brothers. They’re identical twins — one straight, one gay — joined in fraternal love yet torn by what the future holds for their business ventures together. . 
In Since I Can't Be Myself, I Try To Be You, Esther untwines the narrative of the leader and the follower. What begins as an issue of power, transforms into the consequences of identity. From sexuality, money, power and loyalty, no topic is off-limits.
Will the two be able to stay close, caring and protective of each other while creating a separation between loving brothers and business partners trying not to be cast in a bind? 


What to listen for in this episode of How’s Work? With Esther Perel:

  • Figuring out what to do is one thing; figuring out who to be is quite another. 
  • Psychic energy fuels creative thinking and doing. The more it’s consumed by survival strategies and fears, the less it’s available for freer pursuits.
  • Language matters. How we label people and situations can mask more complex dynamics while also blocking change. It’s never too late to challenge our interpretations and devise fresh ways to name them. 
  • Far from power struggles, some business fights are really about caring, fear of loss and finding a better way to stay together.
  • Some existential dangers are real. The challenge lies in calibrating our threat detector.
  • Business partnerships don’t always have to be all or none. A more flexible arrangement might lead to happier and richer outcomes.
  • What happens when our personal or professional choices don’t match our family’s expectations — yet those of our siblings do? Acknowledging that we care about their reaction may be a good place to start.
  • A 50/50 business partnership isn’t always about the number of hours each puts in. The road to equal value in a business partnership can mean valuing complementarity over similarity.

Sharpen Your Relational Intelligence

Sign up for letters from Esther, a monthly newsletter + youtube workshop and conversation.
Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.