Unsent Love Letters - Love Across the Decades

by
Esther Perel

The Letter

The relationship was unlikely to succeed, but after three decades it is still strong. A woman, pushing 80 years old, writes a letter to her blind partner of 30 years. She considers him her soul mate and her rock, despite their hurdles. The letter remains unsent because “he already knows the story.”

A Look Inside with Esther + Meredith

Overview

Not all unsent love letters have unhappy backgrounds. This letter is full of romance. The author provides in loving detail, a description of the nuances of love across the decades, the highs and the hurdles, and the reality of lives interwoven.
Letter writing can serve as an opportunity to conduct a mini evaluation. It’s a moment for the author to take inventory of their story and create a map of where they are and how far they’ve come.

An Exercise in Breaking Routine

Have you been in a relationship that defeated the odds? Whatever the hurdles may be, your love is not in question but the challenge might cause your energy to wane. How do you keep the spark alive?
For couples who are feeling a lack of energy, my suggestion is to do something together that takes you out of your comfort zone or breaks your routine. 
When you take a risk to try something new and bold, it connects to you the erotic and creates a feeling of aliveness. It can be hard to take this abstract prompt and apply it - being creative and breaking routine takes practice, so it’s OK to start small. Do something active together, like dancing or hiking. Take a class on a topic that neither of you is an expert. Or keep it as simple as this: Switch which side of the bed you sleep on. The person closest to the door brings the other coffee in the morning. 
Breaking routine and stepping out of what feels comfortable connects you to curiosity and discovery. So, ask yourselves, what is something new you can do together? 
Continue the series. Up next in Unsent Love Letters - Healing After Betrayal.
Producer & Editor: Anush Elbakyan, Producer & Script: Courtney Hamilton Knight, Animation: Daniel García, Illustration & Direction: Natalia Ramos

Sign up for letters from Esther, a monthly newsletter + Youtube workshop and conversation where we sharpen our relational intelligence.
Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.