In this episode of Where Should We Begin with Esther Perel, the couple examines differences in the ways they are capable of receiving love and confront the realization their relationship is a competition for the title of Greater Victim. The couple we meet in Young Love exists in a relationship on perpetual fast forward. He’s an American citizen living in Texas. She’s a Mexican citizen who’s returned home. The pair are now considering marriage, but more as a response to current immigration uncertainties than a sense of romantic readiness. He has placed himself in the role of caretaker and fixer. She, who travels twice monthly to be with him, only craves his presence and emotional attentiveness.
What to listen for in this episode of Where Should We Begin with Esther Perel:
When elements outside our control impose urgency on a budding relationship, is it inevitable this pressure is destructive? Are long-distance relationships difficult to maintain because time together often focuses on the challenges of time apart? Playfulness and joy are pivotal parts of romantic relationships. When these characteristics disappear, can they be resurrected? If they’ve never existed, can they be created after the relationship is underway? When young men who are socialized to be “fixers” find themselves in scenarios where there’s no fix—what’s the answer for them? For the couple? If we show up as strong and independent in a relationship, how do we concurrently convey a desire to feel ‘taken care of’ at times?
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