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“Mating in Captivity takes a hard line against one
of the most time-honored institutions in human history: the sexless
marriage…It reads like a cross between the works of Jacques
Lacan and French Women Don’t Get Fat.”
-- The New Yorker
“As revelatory as it is straightforward…nicely accessible…[Perel]
offers the estranged modern couple a unique richness of experience.”
-- Publishers Weekly
"[Mating in Captivity] makes fewer promises and raises
thornier questions than any other how-to-improve-your-relationship
book you’ve ever read, which is exactly why you should read
this one…[Perel] writes with worldliness and nuance and seems
as comfortable drawing on Proust as from Passionate Marriage.”
-- Elle
“Her advice is refreshingly counterintuitive.”
-- Salon.com
“Perel says the kind of things that are so contrary to popular
wisdom, they actually sound blasphemous - and yet, at precisely
the same moment that you’re being shocked by her, you’re
also acknowledging the validity of her ideas. Perel’s ideas
are...instantly familiar because they resonate deeply. It’s
all rather terrifying in its intuitiveness and its pure rightness.”
-- The Observer (England)
“Esther Perel is a fearless writer and thinker who will challenge
your views about sex in a radical and fundamental way. She has the
most original, edgy, intelligent, and high-spirited voice out there
on passionless sex versus erotic vitality. She writes like a dream,
making it nearly impossible to put down this book even when you
want to.”
-- Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of Dance of
Anger
“Perel has written the first really engaging and provocative
‘sex’ book in years! With psychological sophistication
and evocative prose, she reminds us what many of us would rather
forget: to un-domesticate sex requires paying attention to our erotic
imagination and moving beyond the security of the familiar but comfortable.
An erotic sexual life is for those who want more than ‘workable’
sex. Perel tells us how to find it.”
-- Sandra Leiblum, Ph.D., Director, Center for
Sexual and Relationship Health, Robert Wood Johnson Medical School
“Challenging the conventional wisdom, Esther Perel examines
sexuality and eroticism as both independent of and yet intersecting
with intimacy and commitment. Mating in Captivity is a
significant contribution, as useful to clinicians as it is informative
to the general public. Her clinical illustrations depict sophisticated
clinical work in a manner that is lively and engaging.”
-- Lewis Aron, Ph.D. Director, New York University
Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy & Psychoanalysis
"A provocative look into the waning of sexual desire that often
plagues couples in long-tern relationships....Perel offers a unique
cross-cultural perspective...Fitting for the professional, the book
is an important source of information for the lay consumer wishing
to add passion into his/her relationship....An excellent book, full
of provocative prose and entertaining case illustrations.”
-- Journal of Sex and Marital
Therapy
“Mating in Captivity...articulates a poignant and
unacknowledged modern crisis for the first time.”
-- The Evening Standard (London)
“Perel’s main point is that a happy marriage is a sexy
one...Far from being smug, Perel’s position on the matter
is almost survivalist.”
-- The Guardian (London)
“An elegant sociological study, complete with erudite literary
and anthropological references.”
-- Daily Telegraph (London)
“An academic perspective on the deterioration of sex in relationships...Perel
offers insightful, progressive theories on how to put the play back
into partnerships.”
-- Daily Record & Sunday Mail
“Part sociological study, part voyeurism, and elegantly, if
not erotically, written...There’s a tableau of sexual conundrums
laid out in Mating in Captivity that covers most bases.
You’ll be sure to find yourself in there somewhere.”
-- The Australian
“Perel tells us why intimacy can feel imprisoning and how
we can embrace the erotic – without leaving home. Her writing
is fresh and provocative, in a class by itself.”
-- Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of After
the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner
Has Been Unfaithful
“Finally! A book that truly addresses the mystery of sustaining
erotic desire in long term relationships. Esther Perel’s Mating
in Captivity is a brilliantly written, illuminating book about
the conundrum that most couples face in relationship; how to keep
the romantic spark glowing over a lifetime. Perel doesn’t
offer yet another sex manual, rather she engages us to be open to
the magic and mystery of erotic exploration that’s possible
for couples. She shows the rich variety of ways couples can rekindle
their romance when they rediscover their separatness, differences,
and vulnerable yearnings with tenderness and curiosity. This is
a book I would recommend to a couple for their honeymoon and a couple
celebrating their 50th anniversary. It’s a book I’ve
asked my wife to read. And my sons. It’s by my bedside. Consider
having it by yours.”
-- David Treadway, Ph.D., author of Intimacy,
Change and Other Therapeutic Mysteries
“A charming blend of wit and wisdom...this book will give
you a fresh perspective on long-term love.”
-- Gold Coast Bulletin (Australia)
"Marriage feeling a little...passionless? In her new book [Mating
in Captivity] New York therapist Esther Perel offers couples
a battle plan for fighting sexual burnout."
-- People Magazine
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